He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
