just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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