scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I want to fling myself into the sun
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
