So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
