69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
it glows. i had to have it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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