your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
