can we get nightvision for the apartment?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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