I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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