I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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