How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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