Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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