We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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