tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
