Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
