I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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