Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
