she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize