I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Operation Purity has been aborted
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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