i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
