Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
