terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
We are two peas in an std pod
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
