to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
