I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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