Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he puts the penis in happiness.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
