At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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