NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize