I will die if light touches me.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
