I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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