I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
