did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
