i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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