I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
