By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
