Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
