whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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