Dual....:-)
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Randomize
