I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
