As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
