Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
