she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
