You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
50% drunk capacity currently
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
