i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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