Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
