I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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