I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
