In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
