I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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