he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
