Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
