Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
