she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Drunk is a universal language darling
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