Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
im holly from the hills drunk
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
